Thank God or whichever God you pray to or more universally politically correct, Thank my/your lucky stars because this seems to be the last series of "Hoarding, as a Teacher" for at least awhile. I am actually looking forward to writing this post to see where it takes me, as opposed to the last two which filled me with dread, fear and high anxiety!
All the stories I get are amazing to me, but this one is especially amaZing or I should say, amazing with a Zing! The Laws of Attraction worked for the Polaroids in more ways than one!
This is what I wrote for the destiny of them from the etsy listing:
Perfect Christmas gift for anyone who loves vintage nostalgia and wants to show the younger generation the amazing ways of an extinct, yet surprising camera and photography style from back in the day!
The reserve for her expired. I emailed her asking if she needed an extension or a layaway plan, but heard nothing, so I assumed she found something else. I dehoarded more that weekend and found a pack of Solargraphic paper, added it to this destash and unreserved them.Two days later, on Halloween, someone else ordered them and had them sent to a realtor's office. I assumed the realtor would use them to take instant pics for clients of interested homes. I sent a card asking for a story, but I didn't get one.
And then out of the blue I heard from Sydney again!
Believe it or not, all this does tie into my hoarding...
Here is a short example of my stirred up hate, which I'll call "messin' with our paychecks" My first year of teaching was fine salary-wise, but by my second year, instead of getting a 3% cost of living raise or going on strike, teachers took an 8% pay cut! That cut went on for 8 years! or at least it took 8 years for my paycheck to catch up to my first year salary.
Then my accountant advised me to stop spending 1/3 of my paycheck on my work, which went to supplies, equipment, books, etc. and even "paper and pencils"! Yes, one school year for three to six months, teachers and students were not provided paper and pencils! We had to buy them without reimbursement. What we were told and what really happened and the theories to go with it is enough for another blog! I hope this gives an idea of how some of my dilemmas connect to my hoarding ways.
Anyways, the straw that broke the camels back was when hundreds of teachers stopped getting paychecks! Yep, nothing, none, zero, zilch! Teachers were silently losing their cars and then their houses! And guess what the solution was? If you weren't getting a paycheck, you could go down to HQ on payday after a hard month at work, stand in a long line and get a voucher for $300! Which was considered a loan, so it had to be paid back with interest!
Luckily I wasn't one of those teachers, but I knew some that were getting overpaid (by up to 10-20k in lump sums), underpaid, no pay and even dead people were getting paid! In the meantime, teachers kept working, even though they were losing their cars and homes! I didn't understand this! Was I the only one staggering around in disbelief?
One day was allotted for any teachers with a messed up paycheck to go to HQ and have someone try and decipher their paycheck. I also, need to mention that our paychecks are so challengingly unreadable that a free all day class is offered to help explain them. Go figure! Handing out paychecks that one has to go to a class to learn how to read has got to be a crime in itself. How does that happen?
Long story short or trying, I knew a reliable source that went to HQ on that "allotted" day on the suspicion of getting overpaid and got there an hour early and by the time they reached the front of the line to sign in, they were #100 and something and there were 6-8 other sign up tables with lines just as long.
The source said that the lobby was standing room only and overflowing. They talked to a few colleagues while waiting seven hours for their turn. One new teacher talked about how they love teaching but their car was repoed and took a bus there and how they'd have to leave the job soon because taking the bus from one county to the next was taking it's toll, others had run out of sources to borrow money---they had already tapped out family, friends, banks and credit cards-- just to feed their families, buy gas to get to work and were close to losing their homes, some had already lost their homes, but mainly it was quiet with a lot of stressed out zombied looking teachers.
If I remember correctly, this injustice went on for about 6-8 months and was under tight wraps and didn't make the headlines as far as I know. I do know that after I heard those stories, all I could picture was farm after farms of quiet herds of sheep being lead to slaughter! I left one year later and never looked back, until now!
These stories woke up a giant of a monster for me! "Hoarding, as a teacher" is a big puzzle piece to my rehab, a whole new onion!
You can read about the good teaching memories from the Polaroids, at the original listing here:
I am so grateful for this surprise story with a miraculous "laws of attraction" ending because it gives me hope to know that now that my hatred has been recognized and "put out there", it too can be changed, like my hoarding ways, just like this story found it's way back to me with just the "destiny" of some words put out into the universe for someone or something to find it.
What I Learned:
1. It's okay to admit hate and to hate because if it's going to happen, it's going to happen, in the sense that it happens to everyone and I can use it as an indicator for moving forward with forgiveness. Why I had so much loyalty for a company who didn't, I'll never know and hope to be more careful about it.
2. Feeling hate is better than suppressing it and causing all kinds of toxic "who knows what" to myself. For me, hoarding is a way to sweep as much dirt as I can under the rug. Sweeping things under the rug is dangerous business, a form of suppression, a toxic hazard tank full of negative feelings. Feelings, I'm not supposed to have.
3. Hoarding is a two way street. Each item holds, even hides some experiences, good and bad. Does that also hold true for someone's hate running as deep as their love?
4. Hoarding, as a teacher had been a way to survive over 25 years of inner city teaching, but now that it's over I can stop. The past with a garage full of buying things in sets of at least 32 for a full class, student equipment, realia, Christmas gifts, school supplies, books, breakfast, experiences, demonstrations, etc, is gone. It's safe to remember, process and let go now.
5. I thought I had donated almost all my teacher stuff, but apparently I kept more than I thought! My teaching hoard has allowed me to let go of horrible experiences with toxic feelings and look at the positive of the downside.
Parting Thoughts: I am thankful that I am a survivor and my hoard has helped me to survive. I am thankful I have the time to purge whatever my hoard brings and the time to recover. I am espeially thankful for the new stories from others!
Thank you everyone for taking part in my HoarderRehab!
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