Total Meltdown over here! I was holding it all together pretty well when a straw broke the camel's back, the dam broke and flooded. Which takes me to Bruce Lee's water quotes, actually the interview I heard once, but I can't find it! (I didn't find the interview, but I found the quotes below: (short version and long version)
“Be like water making its way through cracks. Do not be assertive, but adjust to the object, and you shall find a way around or through it. If nothing within you stays rigid, outward things will disclose
themselves.
Empty your mind, be formless. Shapeless, like water. If you put water into a cup, it becomes the cup. You put water into a bottle and it becomes the bottle. You put it in a teapot, it becomes the teapot. Now, water can flow or it can crash. Be water, my friend.”
― Bruce Lee
I crashed and flooded all over ebay and etsy falling into in every knook and cranny. So imagine what that might look like, something in between the two pics shown above and that is what I became.....
I shopped my little heart out
until I was more like...
I ate pizza. I wrestled and battled with myself. Made lists upon lists to get visuals on amounts. Set limits from 10 items to 12 items, dollar amount limits, percentage from sales amounts, etc and on and on.
I bought more than I thought and less than I wanted and all in all, I'm exhausted, tired and relieved of a ton of stress and even some sadness! Yes, good or bad, there is a specific dollar amount that is set within me that can I can follow and become more like water.
Why and how did my stress and sadness release end up being buying stuff? I have no idea, clue or guidance, but at least I know what it is and I'm just going to accept it and move on. Maybe even find a little comfort with some humor!
MY HOARDER REHAB MENU of DISASTER
Holiday Family Angst= minimum $100
Blogland drama=0-$1, although at the time it seemed like at least a $20-$50 combustion
Caffeine withdrawl= $0, but can't be a good influence towards frugality, grounding or other alternatives
Insomnia= $0, adds little resistance towards falling back to old habits and unknown helplessness towards practicing other healthier alternatives.
Letting go of things too quickly= $50-$100, now a percentage of 10% of certain item will go to a charity
death in the family= straw that broke the camel's back
Okay, so I went a thousand steps backwards, even with the blessings of a proper "Mother May I".
It happens.
did I? or did I not?
did I? or did I not?
Hoarder Inspiration or Desperation
1. A lot more inspiration than desperation. It may look like desperation with a thousand steps backwards and it might feel a tad like it with some guilt mixed in, but I feel better than I thought at this time during these circumstances knowing I had break-through of some sorts, from acknowledgement to resignation to acceptance.
2. "It doesn't not matter how slowly I go as long as I do not stop"---Confucius
3. “The key to immortality is first living a life worth remembering.” --- Bruce Lee
4. New goal inspired by Bruce Lee: "to be style without style" in Japanese it would be like "shibue" A long forgotten favorite word of mine.
5. At the time, when I wrote "blessings of the proper Mother May I" I had no idea why I wrote it or what it meant, but now that I've had time to think about it, it means: giving myself permission with the knowledge and acceptance that the world will not end if this is a bad decision.
How are you doing today?
Thank you for joining me another ride of the up and down roller coaster of my HoarderRehab journey! Thank you those from Germany, US, UK, Canada, Greece, Portugal, Brazil, China, Serbia, Singapore, Bulgaria, France, Poland, Trinidad and Tobago for the quiet comfort of your company these past days.
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